My friends who are all 25 and 26 would swear to you that this is a real dilemma. The Quarter Life Crisis starts to creep up right around the time that you are 24 and 3/4. I have no idea when it ends, but it hasn't ended yet! I'm almost 26. Officially in my "Late 20's". If I wanted to be really kind to myself I could say "Mid to Late 20's". Ha ha. This whole year has been a year of reflection. Where I am and where I want to be has been constantly travelling around in my brain. Logistically, I have a very clear view of this. Emotionally, it is a whole different ball game. Saying where I am and where I expect to be doesn't prepare me for experiencing it. I also find myself thinking that I am behind somehow because I don't have kids yet, and I don't have a "career" yet. (Though I could probably work at a Credit Union and be perfectly happy as long as I have opportunities to move up). Facebook almost makes it worse because every day I see posts like "Check out my new awesome baby, aren't they adorable??" or "Got my dream job today, and it pays a gazillion dollars!" (Ok maybe not so much them money part, but still!) After all of this I pause to question where the pressure is coming from? Maybe a little light pressure from my parentals, but luckily, it is kept mostly to a minimum (love ya! ;o)), but realistically most of my closest friends are in the same boat as me right now. On the verge of starting a family, but notquitethereyet. Or they are coming down with a severe case of still-trying-to-figure-life-out-itis. I've heard that that one can strike you at pretty much any age. I realized that it might just be the pressures of the world we live in today. We are expected to do it all. Career, Marriage, Babies. We see women all the time who perform a balancing act that deserves attention from Cirque Du Soleil. It looks exhausting, and because I haven't done it yet, I can't attest to whether or not it's worth it. So while I am kicking myself for NOT having a career and NOT having babies, I think I am more afraid that I will have to give up one or the other. What is my career worth? Is it worth missing all of the little things that make motherhood so wonderful? But will I miss working if I stay at home? I know myself pretty well. I like days off of work, I love vacations, but I was without a job for 2 months and I got ANTSY. I like being good at what I do, and I excel. I would hate to be left wondering what I could have achieved. On the flip side, I don't want to be a mother who is overworked and over stressed. I don't know if the Quarter Life Crisis is more pressing on women, since we have the pressure to make use of our ovaries before they shrivel up and die, but I know that I have only heard one complaint from a man, and that complaint was finding a gray hair. Oh deal with it! You can call yourself a "silver fox"!
I guess I can handle the pressure and the baby hunger for little while longer while I try to figure out how to age gracefully. Besides, I need to enjoy the 4 more years I have until I am 30! Who knows what life will look like then?
Finally, for no reason other than to decompress your brain from my lengthy blog...a ridiculously small dog:
1 comment:
Hey, I am currently have figure life out itis. I think I always will. As for the bit about possibly missing work if you decided to stay at home, because you got insanely ANTSY. I will tell you, there is not time to be antsy. You attention is in demand CONSTANTLY. I honestly don't know how any woman can juggle kids and a job outside the home when I can barely juggle my kids, housework, grocery shopping, and finding any semblance of time to do things that I enjoy. Women who can do both successfully are amazing to me and deserve a hearty cheer and pat on the back. As for what you choose to do, whether you opt to stay at home or work outside the home, follow your heart. More and more I have been realizing that we aren't here on this earth to please anyone else. We are here to learn the things that we need to learn and part of that is doing what is right for ourselves. If it works for you and Matt to both switch off working and who takes care of the kids then do it, if it is you staying at home then do it, if it is Matt staying at home then do it. But once you have made your decision never second guess yourself as the judgments start rolling in. Just always, ALWAYS do what works best for you and your little family regardless of outside influences. I love you sis, I think you will make a great mommy, and if you do decide to stay home with your kids then we can have lots of play dates, craft days, and other things to make both of us feel less "isolated" in mother hood. :) *hugs*
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